heaven on earth #30: nationals park | dc (review)

reason #7,858 why i luv jy: she either likes or is very good at pretending to like accompanying me on my nerdy/manly pilgrimages to the heart of the sports universe (i.e., the venues).  it’s getting to the point that jy may enjoy worshipping at the altar of greasy junk food, thundersticks, and pointlessly yelling at the coach to guard the open three-point shooters more than me (or at least she deserves an oscar) … and i’m the least bit concerned.  ’cause like every boy in america who stinks at world of warcraft, one of my life goals is to attend every nba and mlb venue before i die (except for those in cleveland … i hate cleveland) …  and it’s such a blessing to grow old with someone that’s willing to sacrificedelay her night at the opera for drunk boys in xxxl jerseys screaming for spoiled boys in cheesily-colored jerseys.

jy and i attended the chicago cubs v. washington nationals game on april 26 @ spankin’ new nationals park (cubs dominated 7-0 on carlos zambrano’s solid 7 innings).  the following are my initial thoughts on the ballpark:

the “majesty”/dimensions: b-

overall, i like a ballpark that has what i call the “majesty” factor: it kinda overwhelms you with its size and beauty (especially with some sun splashed across the green) … but at the same time, i want a ballpark to have its fair share of home runs, not to be a hitter’s park but to be hittable (so i can achieve every boy’s dream of catching a homer).  cases in point: wrigley field in the chi lacks majesty and is too hittable (cubs fans are stressed enuf as it is but have to worry about 9th-inning homers); safeco field in seattle is unfreakingbelievable to look at but kinda a snoozer during the game; comerica park in the d is perfect (and yes, i’m biased).

nationals park is pretty with its open design and its patriotic colors (with a dash of fenway green).  however, although nationals park claims that it’s fair and statistically leans toward being hittable, i’m a tad concerned about the wind effect from the nearby river (just like at&t park in san fran).  that day, it was a tad blustery and when jy and i hit up batting practice, we didn’t see any go out of the park for a home run.  none.  i once attended bp at comerica park and saw marcus thames knock almot everything out.  the word is that the wind makes it nearly impossible to hit a homer down the lines, but there aren’t that many seats down the middle.  so, potential problem here that needs more numbers before drawing it as a conclusion.

scoreboard: a+

the hd scoreboard is the best i’ve ever seen ’cause it’s like 1,000,000 dpi (i did not sound like a patent attorney just now).  i kinda understand the traditionalists who balk at anything that is not wrigley and may be distracting to hitters, but even they might fall for the minutia that fills up them screens (e.g., every at bat for each batter, whether the batter throws left or right).

special features:  b+

while dc sports no brilliant skyline to fill up the gaps (like seattle), it does have its own charms to complement the ballpark: the capitol building (seen above) and the washington monument (which we unfortunately didn’t spot).  nationals park also has its version of the centerfield biergarten, the red loft, which i liked for its flashy, “love in this club” bar.  note the hanging lights behind the red loft, giving that area (the main entrance) a euro charm.

mascots: d

when did george wash. and thomas jeff. get so creepy?  the allure of big heads and bobbleheads has never made sense to me (maybe ’cause i have one).  are kids supposed to be drawn to them?  find them cute?  i’m digressing here, but check out a bobblehead at night in the dark for a true fright and a great horror screenplay.

amenities: c+

ballpark food needs to find a good balance between ghetto and bourgey, and if possible, it needs to be memorable like the grilled onions on the dogs at wrigley (*stomach growls) or the sushi at seattle while watching ichiro.  unfortunately, nationals park caters more to the bourgey (i.e., the politicians who sit in the $350 “presidential seats”) and even features a vendor that sells trademark food from other ballparks … but alas, it is a young place and at least covers all the bases (e.g., more beer than bud and bud light).

overall: b

- loren

our top 5 brunch places

to some, brunch is just eggs and potatoes, mixed in some fancy shmancy way … nothing fundamentally special.

to jy and i, it’s an INSTITUTION … a coma-inducing, high-calorie institution, but nonetheless, an institution.

eggs (omelettes, baybee), potatoes, sausages, bacon, french toast, belgian waffles, english muffins, fresh-squeezed oj, mimosa, the fine institutions go on and on and on … and usually, you can’t have ‘em all in one sitting … unless you go to a slamming, 5-pounds-in-one-session-gaining buffet … but i digress … i seriously, seriously digress (in my glorious daydream mmm bacon mmm) … 

our first official date was over brunch (@ park kitchen in portland, oregon) … and after many more brunch dates together, i’m thoroughly convinced that all the “brunch haters” out there simply never had it gourmet.  their “brunch experiences” include denny’s, ihop, and mcdonald’s … all fine in their own right but truly not worshipful.

for the real deal holyfield, hit up the following (if you’re in their respective towns):

norma’s | nyc

 

norma’s is not the most charming place.  it’s sleek and aerodynamic (?).  it requires reservations days in advance.

but man, does it pack a punch in flavor.  check out the waz-za (above): a waffle (perfectly light and fluffy) with fruit on the outside, fruit on the inside, and a brulee top.  absolutely sick, sick i tell you.

remember to make your man get the balancing salty (as jy does and i happily oblige).  we tend to go conservative and order the eggs benedict wherever we go, so we can compare for blogs no one reads like this one.  but at norma’s, the eggs benedict (above) ain’t your cookie-cutter eggs benedict.  its foundation consists of rich buttermilk pancakes on a bed of asparagus (like a juicy steak).  then, its smothered with this hollandaise sauce that can feed a village for days (yes, we felt guilty for eating it).

norma’s weakness?  surprisingly, it’s the lackluster potatoes, which is a speciality of …

sarabeth’s | nyc

sarabeth’s has the complex (e.g., pumpkin waffle topped with sour cream, raisins, pumpkin seeds and honey as seen on the left), but its their simple (e.g., their brand name preserves on a croissant) that gives jy and i hunger pains and deep longings.

cafe des artistes @ corcoran gallery of art | dc

remember that brunch buffet i was daydreaming about?  now, picture that glory with made-to-order malted waffles and omelettes amidst a fab art gallery (for walking them calories off) and a dancing, high-fiving gospel choir that features 3-4 big mommas (sunday only).  i think that day was the first time jy saw me cry.

chart house restaurant | alexandria, va

brunch places by the river are a dime a dozen, but chart house restaurant in old town alexandria has a quiet charm that flows with the neighborhood.  or perhaps it was the restaurant’s proximity to the u.s. patent office that brought out the excited nerd in me.  or perhaps it was that big huge glass of mimosa …

cafe du berry | portland, or

jy and i have experienced the posh and the humble of portland brunch, including way too many (not enough?) late night affairs with the old crew (most of ‘em at the fir).  but no place balances portland’s rustic cuteness with gourmet food quite like the very euro cafe du berry.  with its cramped spaces and its cubist paintings, a morning at the cafe literally feels like eating at a place on the outskirts of paris.  plus, the french toast is to die for (i.e., liquid gold, whatever that means).

- loren