ten lists of 10 – one-year anniversary in dc/va edition (part ii)

#6 – things that make me feel young

1. my love of baseball caps
2. striking up convos w/ 4-year-olds at the mall candy store, “trust me, you should go with the gummy cherries.”
3. how i still watch a video i dig a million times like i did as a frosh in college
4. sports cards
5. a partner asking, “how do you like your scotch?”
6. a realtor saying, “i understand why you’d want to move downtown”
7. my pop christian books (e.g., don miller) being used and abused, while my youth pastor’s wedding gift (ancient christian commentary on scripture) is unopened
8. my reaction to the acronymn “ira” (individual retirement account)
9. mariah carey’s “dreamlover”
10. republicans

dads at the candy store don’t seem to take my advice as well, “son, let’s go [and stop talking to the child molestor-looking asian man]” … at target, when jy’s in the restroom, i sneak a peak at the sports cards section; try it, you won’t regret it … ”scotch? uhhh, ummm, on the rocks *gulp?” … go illegaly download “dreamlover” NOW; i’ll be waiting … i’m beginning to realize only old republicans (who like to call a black person hitler) have the time to go to these townhalls on health care.

#7 – things that make me feel old

1. my need to wear baseball caps
2. teen choice awards (aka the “wtf?” awards)
3. drake (rapper)
4. having no clue what chat app my teen cousins use
5. having no clue what it’s like to be “on red bull”
6. twilight references (aka the “what?” references)
7. the audience and add of america’s best dance crew (abdc)
8. when kids say, “lebron james is my favorite nba player of all-time!”
9. when i say, “but working for hollister won’t enhance your resume!”
10. relating more to the king of queens than gossip girl

drake’s “best i ever had” is as hard as a 2pac song’s first line … is aim chat now two or three generations old? … red bull? my late nights in college were inspired by this ancient concoction called “mountain dew” … abdc, thanks for teaching me dance moves for the first 45 seconds; now, how ’bout them next 45? … *sigh, being more resume-oriented than nintendo-oriented means sounding like mom and dad.

#8 – women that would take me “5 seconds” to say no to (aka the george costanza/marisa tomei special, aka my fantasy female draft cheat sheet)

1. leah remini from the king of queens (and it’s not even close)
2. alicia
3. norah
4. jun ji-hyun (aka gianna)
5. natalie portman
6. angelina
7. esperanza
8. maggie cheung
9. the hostess of top chef (i don’t even know her name)
10. penelope (post tom cruise)

• note to self: hopefully, none of the above like short, stocky, quirky, bald, and ASIAN men.
• note to wives/girlfriends: i’m not a pig ’cause after watching e! news, you’d crank out a list in 5 seconds.  99.9% chance it features johnny.
• note to husbands/boyfriends: thus, it’s ok to share your list, as long as it does not feature her bff and/or megan fox.  actually, don’t share it w/ me if it features megan fox (see list #7).

#9 – sports teams (and ranking in ‘08)

1. detroit tigers (4)
2. portland trail blazers (2)
3. washington wizards (5)
4. washington nationals (6)
5. san francisco giants (9)
6. seattle mariners (8)
7. chicago cubs (3)
8. detroit pistons (7)
9. houston rockets (1)
10. los angeles clippers (nr)

• note to my sports friends: this list provides prima facie evidence that when the clips start 15-10, i am not jumping on the bandwagon but instead, started the ignition.  thank you.
• note to the tigs: go!
• note to yao: hang in there, buddy; i still have your boys in my 10.  yao 4 life.

#10 – junk fast food chains (i.e., not subway)

1. white castle (and it’s not even close)
2. chick-fil-a
3. five guys
4. arby’s
5. hungry howie’s
6. steak escape/charley’s grilled subs
7. wendy’s
8. a&w
9. chipotle
10. mcdonald’s

chick-fil-a’s polynesian sauce makes me want to go to polynesia (was that pc?) … arby’s + david “bff” cheng = high school … steak escape/charley’s is my go-to mall food, and for some reason, i’m pretty loyal (i.e., “f panda express!”) … a recent wendy’s ad featured the spicy crispy chicken sandwich as “the sandwich one grows up with”; i started tearing … i’ll always be a mcdonald’s apologist, so much so that when one screams, “i hate lawyers who work for big tobacco,” i tend to shy away ’cause i’d kill to defend the big mac in court (kill).

note: i finish with the most difficult to produce list in human history.  if you enjoy mental challenges, go to “fast food chains” in wiki, and try not to be stressed by having to make cuts.  for me, it was in-n-out due to lack of cali experience.  *sigh.

feel free to hit me w/ your “counterlists.”  just expect some counterarguments from moi …

our top 5 brunch places

to some, brunch is just eggs and potatoes, mixed in some fancy shmancy way … nothing fundamentally special.

to jy and i, it’s an INSTITUTION … a coma-inducing, high-calorie institution, but nonetheless, an institution.

eggs (omelettes, baybee), potatoes, sausages, bacon, french toast, belgian waffles, english muffins, fresh-squeezed oj, mimosa, the fine institutions go on and on and on … and usually, you can’t have ‘em all in one sitting … unless you go to a slamming, 5-pounds-in-one-session-gaining buffet … but i digress … i seriously, seriously digress (in my glorious daydream mmm bacon mmm) … 

our first official date was over brunch (@ park kitchen in portland, oregon) … and after many more brunch dates together, i’m thoroughly convinced that all the “brunch haters” out there simply never had it gourmet.  their “brunch experiences” include denny’s, ihop, and mcdonald’s … all fine in their own right but truly not worshipful.

for the real deal holyfield, hit up the following (if you’re in their respective towns):

norma’s | nyc

 

norma’s is not the most charming place.  it’s sleek and aerodynamic (?).  it requires reservations days in advance.

but man, does it pack a punch in flavor.  check out the waz-za (above): a waffle (perfectly light and fluffy) with fruit on the outside, fruit on the inside, and a brulee top.  absolutely sick, sick i tell you.

remember to make your man get the balancing salty (as jy does and i happily oblige).  we tend to go conservative and order the eggs benedict wherever we go, so we can compare for blogs no one reads like this one.  but at norma’s, the eggs benedict (above) ain’t your cookie-cutter eggs benedict.  its foundation consists of rich buttermilk pancakes on a bed of asparagus (like a juicy steak).  then, its smothered with this hollandaise sauce that can feed a village for days (yes, we felt guilty for eating it).

norma’s weakness?  surprisingly, it’s the lackluster potatoes, which is a speciality of …

sarabeth’s | nyc

sarabeth’s has the complex (e.g., pumpkin waffle topped with sour cream, raisins, pumpkin seeds and honey as seen on the left), but its their simple (e.g., their brand name preserves on a croissant) that gives jy and i hunger pains and deep longings.

cafe des artistes @ corcoran gallery of art | dc

remember that brunch buffet i was daydreaming about?  now, picture that glory with made-to-order malted waffles and omelettes amidst a fab art gallery (for walking them calories off) and a dancing, high-fiving gospel choir that features 3-4 big mommas (sunday only).  i think that day was the first time jy saw me cry.

chart house restaurant | alexandria, va

brunch places by the river are a dime a dozen, but chart house restaurant in old town alexandria has a quiet charm that flows with the neighborhood.  or perhaps it was the restaurant’s proximity to the u.s. patent office that brought out the excited nerd in me.  or perhaps it was that big huge glass of mimosa …

cafe du berry | portland, or

jy and i have experienced the posh and the humble of portland brunch, including way too many (not enough?) late night affairs with the old crew (most of ‘em at the fir).  but no place balances portland’s rustic cuteness with gourmet food quite like the very euro cafe du berry.  with its cramped spaces and its cubist paintings, a morning at the cafe literally feels like eating at a place on the outskirts of paris.  plus, the french toast is to die for (i.e., liquid gold, whatever that means).

- loren